Consent

If it feels like you’re selling something — stop.
If you’re working too hard for a “yes,”
pause.
Step back. pause.
Try again — or maybe, don’t.

A real yes doesn’t need convincing.
Look for the “HELL YES.” The “OMG YES.”
Or better yet: the quiet, steady yes that lives in the body.

Trust us — that kind of yes leads to better everything.

Watch this video about enthusiastic consent →

Someone says no?
Good. That means they trust you enough to be honest.

Say thank you.
Mean it.

A “no” is not a rejection — it’s a reveal.
It shows you something real: that this person feels safe enough to voice their boundary.
That’s not a failure of connection — that’s the foundation of it.

When someone says no, it proves they’re present.
It proves they’re paying attention to what they want — and what they don’t.
And when we receive that no with grace, we show we’re worthy of trust.

Every healthy dynamic — sexual, sensual, kinky, or otherwise — is built on the ability to hear no, hold it, and stay open.

So don’t rush past it. Don’t shrink from it.
Celebrate it.

Because if someone can say no, it means that when they say yes…
they really mean it.

And that’s the kind of yes worth waiting for.

Consent Is a Whole-Body Experience

It’s not just a yes or no.
It’s a full-body signal. A living dialogue. A mutual, continuous agreement.

Consent means:

  • You’re both in it.
  • You can change your mind at any time.
  • A yes to one thing is not a yes to everything.
  • You pay attention — not just to words, but to tone, tension, and body language.

Enthusiastic Consent = Real Consent

“Consent isn’t a question. It’s a state.
If, instead of lovers, the two of you were synchronized swimmers, consent would be the water.
It’s not enough to jump in, get wet and climb out —
if you want to swim, you have to be in the water continually.”
— Yes Means Yes

We believe sex, kink, and rope all start from this same place:
A shared, excited, embodied yes.
The kind that moves you both.

If Something’s Off — Tell Us

If someone on the “going” list is raising red flags, if you’ve had an issue with someone, or if you’ve witnessed behavior that concerns you — please let us know.

You can:

  • Message us via FetLife
  • Use this contact page
  • Feel free to use a pseudonymous email (ProtonMail, Fastmail, etc.)

Tell us what happened. If you have ideas for how we could hold it — boundaries, support, checking in — include those too.

We’ll listen. We’ll think.
We’ll follow up with care, not with assumptions.

No system is perfect. But we’re committed to holding these things well.

We’re always looking for folks who care deeply — about presence, safety, clarity, and repair.
If that’s you, get in touch.

Let’s make consent more than a rule.
Let’s make it the rhythm we move to.